Don't Ditch a Detective Read online

  He nodded, and she sensed a story, but he didn’t give her the chance to ask. “So you prayed and …” he prompted.

  “I felt impressed to play on my strengths of charity and sympathy. I talked with Gavin and Heath about it, and they both agreed to support me. I found my first mission and was certain I’d found my spot, my calling in life.”

  He studied her. “So Gavin and Heath support you financially?”

  “Yes.” She squirmed. She didn’t like handouts, but she had no resources or way to raise the money she’d need to sign up for every service opportunity that called to her. Most people saved and did one a year or one a lifetime. As far as she’d seen, only the organizers of the missions, or their employees, were regulars like her.

  “That’s very generous of them.”

  She nodded her agreement and forced a smile. “It’s a tax write-off, too.”

  He didn’t return her smile. “That’s why you’re worried. If they find out you’re in danger, they’ll cut your funding.”

  “I am not in danger,” she asserted through clenched teeth.

  He elevated his broad shoulders. The look on his face said he didn’t believe her.

  “I’m not,” she insisted. “And if you say anything, I’ll …” What could she threaten him with? She’d already shot him with pepper spray, and he’d been a champion about it. She was in his debt, not the other way around.

  Jed raised an eyebrow and gave her a smirk that said he knew exactly how much she owed him.

  She wanted to beg him again, but it was getting her nowhere. She thought about the confrontation she was in for if Gavin found out she’d been attacked, and her stomach squirmed uncomfortably. Thank heavens Heath was chasing Hazel to London. Gavin had rarely left the valley and had no clue what the world beyond these beautiful mountains was like, but he was more overprotective than any big brother she’d ever encountered.

  “Are you feeling better, then?” Cassie muttered.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  She forced a smile and said, “See you later.”

  His eyebrows arched in surprise, but he didn’t stop her as she stomped around him on the snowshoes, heading for the lake and then home. Her muscles were stiff and cold from stopping so long, but she pushed on harder and faster. Jed was a tough, impressive man; even with a lungful of pepper spray, he’d be fine getting home on his own. If only she didn’t feel like such a jerk for leaving him and for spraying him in the first place.

  She also felt like a total idiot letting spill to him that she’d been attacked. The rosy picture she’d painted for her family might soon get blood-red paint splattered on it. She was in for some huge battles if Jed shared with them. A battle was the last thing she wanted. Maybe she should leave before Jed could reveal her secret—but the thought of leaving her home, her family, and her sanctuary felt like someone had ripped her insides out. Dang Jed Beckham all to heck. He was ruining her holiday in so many ways. She’d avoid him and pray he wouldn’t reveal her secret, though that was probably a vain prayer.

  Chapter Three

  Jed gave Cassie a head start before following her down the trail. His eyes and face still hurt, but he was over the shortness of breath and the oppressive, constricting feeling in his lungs. Truthfully, this hit had been much milder than the one he’d taken at the academy, but it still hurt and he hoped he wouldn’t have to go through something like that again.

  Watching Cassie walk away obviously unhappy with him had hurt even deeper, and he was afraid this hurt wouldn’t ease until he could somehow get to know her. It was so appealing to him how strong and brave she was, but the thought of anyone attacking her … He bent forward again, forcing air into his lungs and feeling like he’d taken another hit of pepper spray. His vision had been clear enough to see that she was being truthful about not being raped, but the idea of anyone hurting her made him want to go to war. How could someone want to hurt such an innocent and kind woman?

  He stomped down the trail, stewing in a quandary. Should he go straight to Gavin, or should he give Cassie some time to realize that she needed to tell her family the truth? He didn’t favor the thought of being a snitch, but this was important enough that it needed to come out. Cassie had to be safe, or maybe she needed to change her life plan. From what Heath had told him of her different missions, she’d done an incredible amount of good. Maybe it was time for her to retire, move to Park City, settle down as a police officer’s wife. He smiled grimly to himself at his unrealistic fantasies. She didn’t even like him. The most interested she’d seemed in him was earlier this morning by the lake when their eyes had met and held and that connection had sprung between them. Then after she’d pepper-sprayed him she’d been really sweet to him, but that was probably only guilt, not interest.

  He made it back to Gavin’s house, stacked his snowshoes in the garage, and greeted Gavin, Trey, Stetson, and Austin, who were lifting weights in the impressive home gym set up in the huge garage.

  “Hey, man,” Austin called out. “Look how tough I am.” The little guy flexed his scrawny arms.

  Jed bit back a laugh, but a wave of sadness washed over him. He’d tried to watch out for the little waif Will the first time he’d met him. Will was a couple years older than Austin, but he was much thinner and probably shorter. Jed had made more of an effort not only to be gentler with him but also to help Will’s situation since Jed’s light bulb moment with Cassie in September. Yet the state found nothing wrong with Will’s foster family and claimed they were providing well for him. Will had warmed up to him over the past few months of Jed making a focused effort to be kinder and trying to give him food and have positive interactions with the boy. Will and Austin both had those deep brown puppy-dog eyes that made you want to take care of them. Cassie’s eyes were like that too, only more appealing, more beautiful, more something a man could get lost in for life.

  “You’re so tough,” Jed said. “Do you lift every day?”

  “I try, but sometimes life gets busy with hockey practice, school, work, and the ladies.”

  Jed saw the other men holding their own laughter now.

  “The ladies?” Jed ruffled the kid’s hair. “What do you know about the ladies?”

  “Too much.” Austin winked as if he were a lady-killer, but it was adorable as his right eye closed all the way and his left squinted as he tried to keep it open. “I’ve got a hundred and fifty-six girlfriends. They flock to me.” He gave a self-assured grin, then picked up a ten-pound weight and curled it slowly. He had good form lifting, Jed would give him that, and he had lots of confidence.

  Gavin smiled fondly at his brother and asked Jed, “Are you feeling okay?”

  Jed hid a smile, not sure if he should tell them that Cassie had hit him with pepper spray. “I’m good.”

  “Do you want to lift?”

  “I’ve actually been up since four. I lifted first, then took off on the snowshoes using the light from the moon and my phone.”

  “You need to learn how to sleep in, man.” Trey slapped him on the shoulder. “No wonder you and Heath are such good friends. Workaholics,” he coughed.

  Jed smiled, taking no offense. “Sadly true. But my work will never make me a millionaire.”

  “Your work’s honorable, and you should be very proud of what you do,” Gavin said. “We’re all indebted to you.”

  “Thanks.” Jed appreciated the praise. He was proud of what he did, especially the bust that had happened yesterday. Jed had been working for years to bring down Brigham London and the scum who let the mafia-affiliated billionaire buy them off. It was a great feeling, better than any fat paycheck. He did fine for himself, at a higher tier of pay than most because of his education and specialties. Plus he had a successful side business selling his handmade knife handles online and in specialty shops throughout the Midwest. He almost doubled his paycheck with his knives, and between the two incomes, he kept busy enough to push away the neglect of his childhood and the longing to find someone to call
family.

  “Did you see Cassie?” Trey asked, sinking into a squat with a weighted bar.

  “Yeah,” he admitted. Had her future brother-in-law been able to read his longing thoughts?

  Stetson had been doing burpees, and only now did he contribute to the conversation. “She seemed kind of out of sorts when she brought the snowshoes back. You didn’t upset her, did you?” Stetson straightened to his full height and folded his arms across his chest. He was about Jed’s size and shredded from playing college football and making athletics his focus, but Jed could easily take him. He was strong as well and had the kind of training that mattered when it came to a fight.

  The other brothers also swelled up. They didn’t know Jed well, but they’d taken him in easily as Heath’s friend. Yet if he dared upset their sister, they’d take him out without stopping to ask questions. That was how these men would be, and it only confirmed that he would need to share that she was putting herself in danger, if he couldn’t talk her into doing it first.

  “She didn’t know it was me coming and got me in the face with her pepper spray.”

  The room exploded with cries of concern.

  “What?”

  “You okay?”

  “No wonder your eyes are red.”

  “How bad does it really hurt?”

  “You didn’t give her reason to spray it, did you?”

  All the voices blended except the last question, which Gavin delivered with a glower.

  Jed held his hands up. “I promise, I surprised her. You can ask her yourself.” He about added “and ask her about the other times she’s had to use it,” but he wanted to talk with her alone again, give her the chance to tell her family what she was dealing with and not make Jed be the rat.

  Austin was chuckling. “That’s hilarious. Cassie took you out. The tough cop dude!”

  Gavin smiled also. “It hurts bad,” he told Austin.

  Austin wiped the laughter from his face, but his dark eyes were still twinkling. “How do you know, Gav? Have you been sprayed?”

  “No, but Nick has as part of his training, and he told me all about it.” He looked back to Jed. “You okay?”

  Jed nodded. “I was far enough away that it wasn’t quite as bad as the time I was sprayed full in the face at the academy.”

  “At least she knows how to protect herself,” Trey said.

  “Yeah,” Gavin agreed. “I worry about her constantly.”

  Something in his eyes told Jed that Gavin was nowhere near as uninformed about the danger Cassie was in as he’d thought. Should he confirm it? Something held him back. “I bet you do,” he said. “I’m going to shower.”

  They all waved or said goodbye and got back to their workout. Jed trudged into the house, carrying a weight he didn’t want to assume. Could he reveal her secret and keep her safe without losing her trust? He’d thought this break from work would be a stress-free time to feel like part of a family and to flirt and connect with the intriguing and beautiful Cassandra Strong. It was already much heavier than that.

  Cassie showered, got dressed in a navy-blue base winter layer for under her ski gear, and then went to help Mama and Ella with breakfast. The boys could all take care of themselves, but Mama loved to cook and insisted it was her privilege to take care of her boys when they were around.

  Cassie was scrambling eggs when the front door banged open and the ruckus of the men came pouring into the house. Gavin, Austin, Stetson, and Trey all stormed the kitchen and dining area, offering to help, hugging Mama, Ella, and Cassie, and making enough noise to wake Papa up. She wished they wouldn’t be so loud; Mama confided that Papa had had a bad night. They all lived in fear of when he would leave them for good, and he seemed weaker and more tired every time Cassie came home.

  Jed appeared in the doorway from the living room. His broad shoulders and tall stature almost filled the doorframe. Cassie couldn’t peel her eyes from him. He looked a touch uncertain and vulnerable. She hadn’t seen any hint of that on the ultra-confident detective, even when she’d sprayed him with pepper spray. It softened her heart further. If only she hadn’t let slip that she sometimes faced danger, and he didn’t seem so inclined to spill her closely-held secret; maybe they could’ve spent the next week getting to know each other, enjoying all those fantasies she’d had of him. When his eyes met hers, those fantasies seemed on the verge of reality.

  Cassie yanked her gaze away, shut off the burner, and slid the eggs into a bowl almost overflowing with them. Those fantasies and dreams had no purpose. Her reality would never match up with Jed’s, and she’d be smart to remember that. Yet she needed to somehow get him alone and assure him that she’d tell Gavin and Heath about the attacks, before he took that upon himself. Would she really, though? Probably not. She had a decent amount in her checking account. If he told Gavin and Heath and they cut her off, she could keep going for a while. Then maybe she’d have to move home, work for Gavin, and save for the next trip. It actually didn’t sound like an awful plan. She’d finally be able to be with family and relax a little bit, not have the weight of the children of the world on her shoulders.

  “Come in, come in.” Mama had an arm around Jed and was ushering him to the table. “We’re so thrilled you’d join us for Christmas.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “No, none of that. It’s Mama to you.” Mama beamed brightly at him as if he were one of her own. Mama made everyone feel like that. Papa claimed that was where Cassie got her nurturing heart. She adored her mama.

  Jed gave her mama a shy smile, the most incredible one that Cassie had ever seen. It transformed him from this tough, self-assured detective to a too-appealing man who needed acceptance, needed a family, needed love. Cassie could give him all the love he wanted. Oh my goodness. Stop, brain, she begged.

  “Thank you, Mama,” Jed said quietly.

  Mama grinned and gestured to the table. “You sit right there.”

  “Thank you, Mama,” he repeated, as if saying the name made him happy. Cassie wanted to get him alone and hear his entire life history, almost as much as she wanted to beg him to hide the truth of her situation from her big brothers.

  “Cassie, love, bring those eggs over, please, and I think we’re ready.”

  Cassie obliged, carrying the bowl of eggs to the table. The huge rectangular table was spread with pancakes, sausage, bacon, and hash browns. The fruit platter and the eggs were the only thing with much nutritional benefit, but the huge traditional breakfast was fun for Christmas Eve, and she knew the men would love it.

  Mama grabbed her arm. “You sit right here by Jed.”

  Cassie’s eyes widened. She didn’t want to refuse and make it awkward, especially since she’d shot him with pepper spray a couple hours ago, but she didn’t know how her nerves would handle being close to him through breakfast.

  Jed glanced up at her, and his powerful blue eyes drew her in like a deer to headlights. She slid quickly into the chair and found herself unconsciously leaning closer to him. He smelled clean and manly and better than any of the food spread before them.

  “I don’t know why Jed would want to sit with Cassie,” Austin piped up, grabbing a piece of bacon and shoving it in.

  “Wait for the prayer,” Mama admonished. “And that’s an awful thing to say. Any man would be thrilled to sit by our beautiful Cassie.”

  “I know I would,” Jed said, so sweetly and sincerely that Cassie all but melted.

  “Really?” Austin shook his head. “You’re way nicer than me. I wouldn’t want to sit by a girl who took me out with pepper spray.”

  “What?” Mama and Ella exploded. The men obviously had heard the story from Jed, as they all smiled at Mama and Ella’s reaction.

  Cassie’s face burned with humiliation, and she waited for Jed to not only tell how she’d hit him earlier with the spray, but also spill her secret that her life wasn’t all sunshine and there was a very good reason she’d reacted so quickly to him coming around that corner.<
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  Jed’s hand found hers under the table, and Cassie jolted in surprise. He squeezed her hand briefly and gave her a kind smile. “I surprised Cassie out on the trail, and she reacted exactly how she should’ve.” He released her hand but not her gaze. “She’s a tough girl who appears to be able to take care of herself.”

  Cassie’s breath hitched. Was he saying he wasn’t going to rat her out? He trusted that she could take care of herself? The relief that washed over her was strong—she didn’t want the conflict or questions from her family—but the desire to learn more about this man and have him squeeze her hand again was equally powerful.

  Jed answered the barrage of questions about being pepper-sprayed, and eventually they settled down to pray and eat. Papa even rolled in and got properly introduced to Jed and ate a little bit. Cassie basked in the contentment of being with her family on this beautiful Christmas Eve. The excitement Jed brought to the table couldn’t be ignored. She wondered if Mama would be pushing them together the next few days. She wouldn’t complain if she did.

  Breakfast passed too quickly, and before she knew it, the men were all cleaning up. Papa had taught the boys at a young age that they were blessed to have a mama who cooked for them, which meant she would never do the dishes after she’d already spent so much time in the kitchen. Cassie had always thought it was sweet, and it’d prompted her to learn to cook as well, as she’d much rather do that than clean up.